You're my best friend. My very best friend. If there's one thing I've ever been sure of, it's that.
But now I'm not sure any more.
I mean, I would love to believe that nothing has changed over the past week. But somehow I think that it has. I don't know how or why, but suddenly you're only talking to me about a boy in your math class you think likes you and then walking over to two other boys. Don't get me wrong, I like them. I wish they were my friends, but they don't like me.
Maybe you're just more charismatic than me, or something. Maybe I'm just not as pretty as you are, so they'll accept you as their friend.
But not me.
You are my best friend, and I love you dearly, and I would die if you weren't there for me. But right now, I don't think I'm your best friend. I hardly see you anyway, so the one time a week I get to see you, I'm really happy.
When you use that time we have together to tell me about a boy for five seconds and then move on to other people, that hurts.
And I wish I could just call you and tell you this now, but I'm terrified. I'm terrified of losing my best friend. I can tell my best friend everything. Who I like, why I'm not going to the dance, what I did last night. I could tell you everything. I think the problem is that I don't have anything to tell.
I'm not even sure if this whole thing is about you or me any more. The point is, I'm terrified of losing you. I'm a really jealous creature; I don't know if you knew that. When you hang out with other people, I get jealous. And I hate that I'm like that, because I know how it feels to have someone want you all to themselves. But I can't help feeling it anyway.
Have you ever felt like everything in the world was wrong, and nothing you could do would possibly make it right?